Jane's Surrender (Hard World Tour) Read online

  As he was moving inside me back and forth, I grabbed his back, my nails biting into his shoulders, probably leaving marks.

  If only it could last.

  And no matter how good it felt right then, I wanted to cry and weep.

  Because there was no place for him and this in my life.

  And at that moment, part of me hated myself for it.

  Drake

  She was mine. Every inch of her body was mine.

  Since the moment I claimed her virginity two years ago, she belonged to me.

  She denied it.

  She thought she needed someone else.

  She thought she loved someone else.

  She didn't know it yet, didn't see it yet, but the only one she needed was me.

  Because no one would love her as much as I do.

  She was mine.

  She just needed time to see it and accept it.

  Two years and one month after Las Vegas

  Jane

  The man was driving me crazy. He obviously thought we were not getting a divorce or anything.

  He courted me relentlessly. If we had a rehearsal, he would come with food and drinks for us. I would always wake up with fresh red roses at my doorstep once again. He would always smile, try to touch me, and be nice when I acted like a crazy lunatic bitch towards him.

  This was getting us nowhere, but he didn't want to listen to me. He promised me the divorce once the tour was done, but he wasn't about to make it easy on me.

  We were in Texas now. We had a big concert tomorrow, and we had a nearby studio to rehearse in. Jeremy always made sure we had one at every place we performed.

  “I think this concert will be wild,” Ariel said excitedly, and made those weird movements of hers when she was happy on stage. She shook her hands while her legs stepped forward and back. No one paid much attention to that; we were used to it.

  “Yeah.” Bella smiled and adjusted her mic, clearing her throat. She was about to practice a hard note on our album. She was much improved, considering she had to retrain her voice, and since our first concert back in Swan Lake, her confidence had returned. She still had fear in her eyes about going back to her addict ways. She never stayed for after parties or asked for booze to be on the bus. It wasn't hard; we didn't drink much ourselves when on tour. Ryan, who we discovered was Nate as well, was with us all the time, and so was Drake. They rarely left for business; their focus was making sure Bella was all right.

  She was glowing and in love, had proclaimed her love for Ryan on stage during the concert at Swan Lake.

  “Every concert for you is wild,” Sam pointed out, and then checked her guitar, making sure every note was right. Before I could add anything, Drake joined us on stage, holding a big box in his hands that appeared to be moving a bit. The box was red and had a big bow in the middle.

  “Oh, is it Christmas already? I had no idea.” Ariel laughed, and that made me glare at her. She just shrugged her shoulders and went back to dancing. Drake chuckled and extended the box to me.

  “It’s for you,” he said softly, and I shook my head.

  “Seriously, would you stop with all the gifts?”

  “No.”

  “No?” This man was the most stubborn guy on Earth.

  “No, I like giving you gifts. Now open this one. I think he’s been inside long enough.”

  Frowning, I removed the bow then opened the lid and froze. Inside was a beautiful yellow Labrador puppy, which barked, licked my hand, and wiggled his tail. His box was big enough for him to feel comfortable. He was small. I think he may have been the runt of the litter, but he was so cute I was gonna die right there.

  Without thinking, I took him into my arms and immediately his tongue was on my face as he wiggled, sniffing me, and then his muzzle settled in the crook of my neck. His fur was so soft, and he sighed in contentment as I stroked his back.

  My eyes rose to Drake, who had this gentle look, and I smiled.

  “You bought me a puppy?”

  “Yes, you wanted one,” he said matter-of-factly.

  “Who told you?” I asked suspiciously.

  “I have my connections.” His back blocked us from view, so no one knew what was happening. I didn't know how I felt about this. My dream had been to have a dog, and this puppy was perfect.

  What did it prove? Drake was waiting for some kind of sign from me and

  I couldn't give him that.

  Barking snapped the girls to attention and they came squealing, “Puppy!”

  “He is so cute!”

  “It’s going to be huge though. What will we do with the dog on tour?”

  “Oh, shut up, Sam. We can take turns.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “Such a pretty puppy.” Ariel hugged him as they all stood around her. It didn't escape my notice that it gave me some privacy with Drake again.

  My hormones raged. Seriously, if he was in close proximity to me, then they started to act out.

  Down, girls.

  Now I was talking to my ovaries.

  Kill me.

  “Thank you.” It was the safe thing to say.

  “You’re welcome. I’m happy you like him. He needed a home.”

  “Where did you find him?”

  “At a shelter nearby. One of the dogs had a litter of puppies. He was the runt.” So my assumption was correct, and my heart warmed that he decided to visit the shelter first. So many dogs needed a home. “One look at him made me realize you two would be perfect for each other.” He chuckled, and then suddenly his hand touched my nose, and he pinched it a bit. “I bought all the supplies for him as well, and kept them with me. I figured you needed sleep, and when you’re on tour, I can take care of him.” He was so thoughtful. Before I knew what I was doing, I rose to my tiptoes and kissed him softly on the cheek.

  Which was a big mistake.

  The contact sent electricity down my body, and by the way his eyes heated and darkened, he felt the same. For just a few seconds, we were engrossed in a world with each other where nothing else mattered.

  But the girls’ laughter snapped me out of it, and as usual, I took a step back. I cleared my throat.

  “That’s a good idea, about the dog, I mean.” He nodded, but his stance became colder, and it didn't take a genius to know he was angry about my brush off.

  I was seriously acting hot and cold, and it was driving everyone crazy.

  “I want to keep him with me though.” His happy barking made me smile. “Except when I’m on stage. I would really love for you to look after him.”

  “I’m glad to be useful,” he muttered sarcastically, picked up the box he had put on the floor, and whistled at the girls to get their attention. “Have fun, ladies. I’m leaving.” They waved to him, and then his blue eyes were on me, showing me nothing. He was hiding his emotions well. “See you around, beautiful. Let me know once you name him.” With those words, he left the stage and me standing there.

  He gave me a precious gift, and what did I do?

  Acted like a bitch.

  Drake

  Whoever said courting a woman was the best way to win her heart was fucking stupid or lucky.

  Or simply never met as stubborn and difficult a woman as Jane.

  Nothing I did helped, and I started to think maybe Jane and I weren't meant to be after all, but every time that thought came to mind, I would remember her face and become more determined than ever to win her heart.

  I just wanted to hug her and kiss her, and do other stuff that was driving me fucking crazy.

  Being in love with a woman who was too blind to see what was good for her was really a shitty thing.

  Roses, gifts, sudden meetings. Nothing worked, and I wondered what else to do. Not even all my years in psychology had prepared me for this. Sparky padded to me and whined at my feet, giving me puppy eyes (pun intended) and barked, wanting to play. With a chuckle, I petted his head, took a small leash from beside me, and attached it to his collar.
/>   Last night after the concert, the girls were exhausted so I decided to take the dog with me, because he could be quite demanding at his young age, and my girl needed rest. She was magnificent on stage, giving every part of herself to the music. She was a thing of beauty. I was happy she had it, that deep passion for what she did, because not everyone could have it.

  Sparky—Jane chose his name, because his eyes sparkled every time someone paid attention to him—whined again and was at the door.

  “It’s all right, buddy. Let me just grab my shirt.” I picked up the shirt from last night, put it on, and we left the trailer I shared with Ryan and Bella.

  Ryan always had the best, so each of us had privacy, but sometimes their sex life was very hard to miss. And when you’re horny yourself and have the worst case of blue balls, it could be difficult to handle.

  Not that I complained or anything.

  Sparky quickly ran to the grass, and even though he was on a leash, it was long enough for him to roam around happily and do his business. He had been housebroken, not that it stopped him from wetting the floor in my room yesterday. He also liked to chew my shoes as I had discovered, but it was impossible to stay mad at the little guy.

  I was checking my work email, confirming each client had been moved appropriately, and answering several questions, when suddenly Sparky pulled harder and jumped. I looked up to see Jane in a shirt and jeans with flip-flops, which displayed her blue toenail polish. Her hair was all over the place. She was laughing as the puppy stopped at her feet and rolled to his back, inviting a belly rub.

  Maybe I should do the same, because the way things were going, I was getting jealous of the attention she was lavishing on the damn puppy.

  “Hey, baby,” she whispered, and laughed as he licked her hand then ran back to the grass again. His tongue hung from the side of his mouth as he tried to catch a butterfly.

  It seriously didn't take much to make a dog happy; that much was evident. She slowly approached me, and only now I noticed she had something in her hand, but I couldn’t make out what.

  “Hey,” she said softly, her voice making me hard. The woman was confusing, and I was getting tired of this hot and cold attitude. She was always hiding from me, and now it seemed she was seeking out my company.

  “Hey.”

  She shivered a little, and without her request, I removed my jacket and put it around her shoulders. “It’s cold in the morning here, despite the heat during the day.”

  She nodded. “Thank you.”

  “What are husbands for, right?” She said nothing, not that I expected her to. “Why aren't you sleeping?” None of them woke up before noon.

  “I couldn't sleep, and Sparky was with you. I felt like I kind of abandoned him.”

  “Guilty conscience? Did you feel the same about leaving me back in Vegas?”

  She froze and I wanted to kick myself. This wasn't like me to act so bitter, but it was un-fucking-believable. She felt guilty for leaving a dog behind, but not me.

  “If it helps, I did feel guilty, but I wanted to run away, so it didn’t stop me.” Her voice was low and regretful. “What happened that made us get married?”

  Her question made me tense. “You still don’t remember?” She shook her head, which made me smirk. “Then I think I’ll wait ‘til you remember.”

  She didn't look happy, but the subject was closed.

  “I have something for you.” She gave me the simple black box she had in her hand; it was heavy. She called Sparky and he came running. She took the leash out of my hand and picked him up. He obviously loved the attention and sighed contentedly.

  “What’s this?”

  “It’s my gift to you as an apology for being such a bitch.” Without waiting for me to open it or say anything, she headed to her trailer, leaving me stunned.

  Aside from the gift she gave me on our first night, the gift of her virginity, she had never given me anything. I opened the lid to see one of my favorite classics inside, and by the looks of it, it was a first edition too. She remembered then, how I told her back in Vegas what my favorite book was. A small note was attached, so I opened it up.

  I hope you will like reading it, First Edition. Sorry for being such a bitch to you, Drake. You don’t deserve it.

  Jane

  My girl and her guilty conscience. Fuck, if that didn't prove to me that giving up was not an option.

  She would be mine. Actually, she was mine. She just needed more time, and I was willing to wait.

  Two years and two months after Las Vegas

  Jane

  “I have to say this tour is no fun at all,” Ariel complained at the same time she looked at her fresh manicure. It was bright red, with little flower designs on her index fingers.

  “What now?” Sam asked while she was swiping through her iPad and enjoying a pedicure at the same time, although she acted as if she hated it. She was the hardest to drag to the salon, but was always the first to run inside and pick the best chair.

  “I think she means we’re boring,” Bella added, and then chuckled at something she saw on her phone.

  “I mean it. Right there,” Ariel agreed, and we all gave her a surprised look. “I bet she’s reading some sweet message from Ryan.” Bella blushed but said nothing, which pretty much confirmed it.

  “Then Sam’s head is all about why Jeremy avoids her and acts like a damn snow queen around her.”

  “I’m not—” Sam started to defend herself, but it was useless.

  “Save it.” Ariel just waved her hand in a ‘whatever’ gesture, and then turned her eyes on me. “And then there is you and that husband of yours.”

  “He is—”

  “Your husband.”

  “Not for long.” I had the need to point that out, which didn't earn me many points anyway.

  “What I mean is you girls are all about your damn relationships, when we used to have those wild parties and enjoy some guys. Now I’m the only one, and let me tell you that although it’s nice to have all those handsome boys to myself, I’m starting to feel like a damn slut,” she finished, and pointed at the lady who was putting her nail polish on to add some golden glitter.

  She did have a point though, no matter how much I wanted to ignore it.

  For the first time, each of us had some guy we had to deal with. A few years back, when we signed our first contract with Jeremy, we had this list of rules we created. Each one of us put one thing on it, and we all had to respect it. Things like not losing your head over money, not using drugs ever, and find someone to talk to should the need arise, which was one of the reasons Sam was so angry with Bella. And also, not bring guys on tour or inside the bus. Since none of the girls was in a relationship, we never had to entertain and make nice with boys.

  Although, officially, only Bella had a boyfriend, the tension between Drake and me, and Sam and Jeremy, was evident and could make Ariel feel left out. She liked to joke around and make comments about all of us, but now I wondered if she was just covering her hurt and we were too busy with our problems to notice it.

  “No one thinks you are a slut, Ariel,” I said, and she gave me a sideways glance, which made me sigh.

  Out of all us, she was the craziest when it came to guys. She loved sex and loved to play the field. She never had relationships, and preferred it that way.

  We knew why, but we never discussed it.

  “I wasn't talking about you, but still. I miss the fun we used to have.” She had a wistful expression on her face, and that made me worry.

  My nails were done, so I had no problem moving closer to her to put my hand above her elbow as I tried to look her in the eyes, but she avoided my gaze for some reason. “Is everything all right?”

  Sam and Bella put aside their devices as well and our full focus was on our girl. To think about it, she had been acting strange lately. She was less talkative; despite her claims about being a slut, the last guy she slept with was four weeks ago, and she kept on buying damn books on
her Kindle, when she wasn't usually one to be an avid reader. She also ate a lot, and lately, I noticed she was watching meat with hungry eyes, and she had been a vegetarian since she was nine.

  “I…it sounds stupid, I know, but no, it’s not.” She sighed heavily and bit her lip.

  We all shared a look, and Sam cleared her throat and asked carefully, “Is it about the guys? Do you feel left out or something?”

  It was never our intention, and somehow the idea made me feel like shit. What kind of friends were we if she felt too uncomfortable to even talk about it right now? She could be loud and shit, but when something bothered her, you needed to press hard to know the truth.

  “No, you know I mess around with you guys. I’m happy for you.” She looked to the side, and then took a deep breath and focused her attention back on us. “I’m pregnant.”

  We blinked and then sat there silently.

  That was the last thing I expected to hear, and I had no idea how to process her information.

  “I know, shocking,” she continued and laughed, but it lacked humor. “The condom broke with one of the guys. I went to a doctor, who tested me and checked me out, and I was fine. Thank God for that. I didn't think pregnancy was possible; I was on the pill. The doctor said miracles sometimes happen, although it seemed like she wanted to convince me of that. She herself didn't look at me in exactly the best way, but whatever. The fact is I’m pregnant and I’m having this baby,” she finished, and then covered her face with her hands and started crying. I’ve only seen her cry once in all our years of friendship, and it was when she lost her baby with Diego five years ago.

  Bella sat down and hugged her fiercely, ignoring the fact that it probably messed up her nails, but she wasn’t worried. “Mermaids don’t cry. We are all here for you, for whatever you need.” Sam occupied another seat beside her, so I kneeled in front of Ariel and we all stayed connected.

  She finally looked up and gave us a teary smile. “Thanks, guys.” She took the tissues I passed her and cleaned her face. “Although no one can know about it,” she warned us.