Jane's Surrender (Hard World Tour) Read online

  JANE'S SURRENDER

  HARD WORLD TOUR - BOOK 2

  V.F. MASON

  Copyright © 2016 by V.F. MASON

  All Rights Reserved

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Edited by Hot Tree Editing

  Cover Design and Formatting by

  L.J. Anderson, Mayhem Cover Creations

  For all those, who wait for or found their knight in shining armor.

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  Contact Me

  Trenton, New Jersey

  1996

  Jane, 4 years old

  “Mama, why are we here?” I asked, hugging my bunny rabbit tighter to my chest while looking around.

  The building was massive; there was this big cross thingy on it, and many windows with colorful paintings. Me and Mama moved around a lot, but I never saw this building before. It was green all around it, but it was hard to see more because of the rain falling on us.

  Mama kneeled in front of me and put her hand on my face as she cried. Her usually beautiful face was super sad, and she hugged me close to her.

  Mama’s arms were the best place in the world, and despite our clothes being wet and sticking to our skin, I could still feel warmth from her. She kept on kissing my cheek, my head, and murmuring something I didn't really understand.

  Why was Mama so sad?

  “Don’t cry, Mommy.” Removing myself from her arms, I gave her my bunny. “Hug Tommy, Mommy. He can make it all better.” She sobbed even more, which made my chin tremble.

  I didn't like seeing Mommy sad.

  “Honey, I love you. Mama will always love you,” she whispered into my ear.

  “Love you, too, Mama.” Was that why she was sad?

  She stood up, took my hand in hers, and moved us toward this big building. We made it to the gate, she put me closer to the door, and there was some round thingy above that made sure rain didn't touch me.

  “Mama, come here. See? No rain!” I giggled. She shook her head, sobbed once again, but this time, she tried to wipe water and tears from her face.

  “Honey, I need to go.” Her words scared me.

  “Go where, Mama?”

  “Mama needs to go. Can you be a good girl and stay here?” Her words made me scared, and I hugged Tommy closer. She never left me alone; we always went together. When she had to work in some strange places where men were mean and some touched Mommy in a bad way, she always hid me under the table or in someone’s office.

  She never left me alone.

  “I wanna go with you, Mommy!”

  She shook her head. “Someday, you’ll understand, honey. I need to give you a chance,” she whispered then kissed me one more time on the cheek and leaned back, taking my face into her hands. “Stay here for Mama, okay? And when that door opens, go inside. Can you do it for me, baby?” I didn't want to do it; Mama was scaring me and leaving me. Did she mean she would come back?

  Maybe she was going out for food.

  My stomach was making funny noises for a long time, and it hurt really bad. I wanted to eat.

  “I’m hungry, Mommy.” Her eyes closed for a second. She squeezed my shoulders tight and then let go of me.

  “I know, sweetheart. They will feed you here. Just do whatever they say, okay?” That was it; she needed time to work, and this time, she couldn't take me.

  “Okay, Mommy.”

  “Mama loves you, baby.”

  “I love you too, Mommy.” She knocked on the door loudly, looked at me one last time, and then because of the rain, I couldn't see her anymore.

  Trenton, New Jersey

  Jane, 11 years old

  “Jane, get me another fucking beer from the fridge.” Adrian and Colt jumped at the loud words of our foster father, and I quickly ran to do whatever he wanted.

  The house was bad—smelly, small, and we barely had any place for each other. However, the Parkers sure loved the money they could live on from all of us, so they took as many kids as they could. When the social workers came, they cleaned us, themselves, and the house to make sure we looked like the ‘perfect family.’

  I freaking hated those people.

  Grabbing the cold bottle from the fridge, I made the few short steps to the ratty living room, which had used furniture, one big chair where Charlie sat, and a big TV in front of him. He took the beer, grabbing my hand so tight it was painful, but I knew better than to make any sound.

  “Next time, fucking come when I tell you the first time.” I nodded.

  He narrowed his eyes and squeezed a bit harder. I barely swallowed the scream of pain; Charlie’s hold would leave red angry bruises that would hurt for days. Finally, he let go.

  Merry came inside, laughing at something she heard from the white phone she was holding, and sat down on the couch, putting her legs on the table, which was overflowing with leftovers and bottles. She covered her phone with her hand and snapped at me.

  “Clean this mess, girl. You aren't here on vacation.” Without another word, I proceeded to do just that, and then washed everything in the sink.

  Adrian and Colt were a bit older, so they were fixing some cupboard and taking away the trash. Occasionally, they took care of the grass.

  When everything was done, I took the bottle of juice and a few sandwiches I made earlier and sat down with the boys in the so called ‘kid’s room’, which was basically used for storage, but had a wide enough table for us to eat there.

  The Parkers never fed us much; they just bought food and told us to do it ourselves. Usually, they preferred to spend everything on their drinks.

  Adrian took a big bite from his sandwich and grumbled, “Fucking hate this.”

  “Adrian,” Colt quickly said, looking at Erin and me.

  “What?”

  “Watch your language! We would be in trouble if Charlie and Merry heard it.”

  Adrian snorted, which made half of his food spill on the table.

  “Close your mouth,” I complained. It was hard to keep my mouth shut when he did something disgusting.

  He frowned at me. “Yeah? Or you’ll do what, ugly?” He was a big bully. The only person he was afraid of was Charlie. In places like this, you became older than your age, and knew how to use some of the fear to your advantage.

  “Or I tell Charlie about your F-words.” It was a bad idea to antagonize him, but he was as bad as our foster parents.

  He narrowed his eyes and swiftly stood up.

 
“Adrian,” Colt started, but stopped with Adrian’s cold stare at him.

  Adrian grabbed my hair painfully and gave me a slap with his other hand. My cheek burned. “You won’t do it, ugly, or you’ll deal with the consequences.” He tugged harder, which made my eyes fill with tears. “You got it?”

  I nodded, he let go and went back to his seat.

  “Fucking whores.” For some reason, he used those words to Erin and Me, and we had no idea what they meant.

  None of us said anything, but I didn't miss the strange light coming from Colt’s eyes when he glanced at me.

  The following night

  I heard the creak of the door opening and immediately opened my eyes to look at the bed beside me. Erin was sound asleep, curling her body into mine. She had some issues. She had her own bed, but she always ended up with me.

  The house was dark and quiet, so the footsteps were exceptionally loud to me.

  The silhouette was unclear, although the moonlight coming from the window was bright enough to show it was one of the boys. As much as Charlie liked to squeeze hands, he was harmless and never came to our rooms.

  “Who’s there?” I whispered.

  The person froze, and then ran to me quickly and covered my mouth with his hand. “It’s me, Jane,” Colt slurred, and he had the same smell coming from him that I associated with Charlie.

  Beer.

  “Don’t scream. Jane, be a good girl, yeah? Take off your clothes for me.” His words made me shiver in fear, and an uneasy sensation filled my stomach.

  What was he doing? He removed his hand from my mouth, and before I could say anything, covered it with his mouth.

  It was sloppy, and it sent me into deeper fear.

  I tried to push him, but he was so strong and big that my tiny hands couldn't do anything.

  “Colton, let go.”

  He didn't listen, and his hands moved under my pajama shirt. I wanted to throw up, and no one heard my muffled screams.

  Suddenly, Erin stirred beside me, opened her eyes, and saw what was happening, and then her screams filled the house.

  In a few minutes, Charlie, Merry, and Adrian rushed into room, and Colt was pushed to the wall.

  “What the fuck is going on here?” Charlie shouted.

  I covered myself with the blanket. My body shook, and Erin was whimpering at my side as all eyes looked to me. “He came here…to-to meeee and tried to…” It was hard to find the words, and I started sobbing.

  Merry’s eyes narrowed, and then she moved to Colt and slapped him hard. “Stupid boy, couldn't even do it quietly.”

  What?

  Her words made my stomach flip, and my fingers clutched the blanket harder.

  “We can’t have this boy here, using the girls to satisfy his urges,” Charlie said, grabbing Colt and Adrian by their necks hard. “No touching the girls in the house, got it? Not ‘til they are twelve, anyway,” he added.

  Under the covers, Erin’s fingers grabbed mine. Her hands were trembling; she was more afraid than I was. “Look at his boner. He has it bad for her.” Merry pointed at Colt’s pants, and something was standing up there, like he put something inside, and it made me scared. What did a boner mean?

  “I won’t get rid of the boys. I fucking don’t want to do all the work here,” Charlie spat and shook the boys more.

  Merry shrugged her shoulders, moved her cold eyes to me, and smiled evilly like those cartoon characters. “Let’s get rid of the girl then.”

  A few days later, I was out of the house, and the only thing I tried to erase from my mind was that awful night and the look on Erin’s face as the car drove away.

  Ridgewood, New Jersey

  Jane, 13 years old

  “Mom!” My yell was enough to wake the dead, but I couldn't control it. Quickly running to the kitchen, I found Mom cleaning the dishes, and to my surprise, Dad reading the newspaper. The minute I entered, both raised their eyes to me.

  Mom smiled. Her bright brown eyes and black hair made her look even cooler with those tattoos she had all over her arms. She was wearing jeans, a shirt, and stood barefoot. Dad wasn't much different from her; he had on a shirt and jeans. His head was bald, and his eyes were green. His back, arms, and neck were covered in tattoos.

  I really freaking loved them.

  They took me in two years ago after the Parkers’ disaster and never looked back. At first, I thought it was going to be the same stupid foster home, but I was wrong. They were nice, gave me my own room, clothes, and I was allowed to do whatever I wanted as long as my homework was done. They lived in Ridgewood, New Jersey, and the neighborhood and school were nice.

  Dad had a workshop, where he worked on motorcycles, and mom was a tattoo artist. They weren't rich, and sometimes, or rather usually, we bought clothes in secondhand stores. Still, they did what was good for me.

  The house gave me a sense of home, and I’d never been happier than I was with them.

  I ran to Mom, kissed her on the cheek, and she held me a second longer than usual, and that one second made me tense in her arms.

  Something was wrong.

  I looked at her and Dad. Both of them were watching me carefully, and then Mom took a deep breath and shook her head at Dad, whose eyes narrowed.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Let’s sit in the living room, hun, okay?” she said, and we all went to the couch. Rather, they sat me on the couch, and both of them sat on the table in front of me. Mom took my hand in hers, and instantly, relief slipped through my body. Her touch was the best.

  “Honey, a few days ago, I was feeling really dizzy and sleepy, and we were worried I might be sick.”

  “Are you sick?” My voice was scared, but she patted my hand.

  “No, sweetie, we thought I was, but then…” she exhaled a heavy breath, “I’m pregnant.”

  Her words made me smile. I knew how much they dreamed about a baby but couldn't have one.

  “It’s great news then, Mom. I know how much Dad and you have dreamed about a baby.” Somehow, my words made her cry more and lean onto Dad, who hugged her close. “What’s wrong?”

  “Honey,” Dad started. “We never expected this. We’d pretty much accepted we’d never have a baby, and now…we can’t afford two kids.”

  Oh.

  The thought didn't even cross my mind, but it should have.

  “The adoption papers weren't finalized, but we just… Honey, we love you, but we can’t turn our back on this blessing.”

  The happiness that was inside me a minute ago left me, and I slid my hand under hers and hugged it close to my chest. They were getting rid of me.

  Mama loves you.

  Honey, we love you.

  Well, apparently, no one loved me enough to stick around for long.

  “When will they come to pick me up?” My voice was hollow and lacked any emotion, and Mom—no, Audrey—started to cry harder.

  “Not right away. We want you to stay with us ‘til I have the baby. Jane, please understand; you’re like a daughter to us, but we really can’t afford—”

  I wanted to cover my ears with my hands and just mutter blah blah blah, so her words wouldn't hurt me more. “Can I go this week?” To stay and see their love for their baby, how they prepare for it and I would no longer be part of their family? No, thanks.

  “Jane, you don’t understand—” William started, but I cut him off.

  “I wanna go this week.” With those words, without waiting for their reply, I ran upstairs to my room, closed the door, and slid down to the floor as my hands covered my sobs.

  Why had no one ever loved me?

  Trenton, New Jersey

  Jane, 14 years old

  “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  “Jane, language!”

  “Yeah, if you want me to mind my language, that ship has sailed. I don’t want to be adopted, and who are those freaky people anyway? No one adopts kids my age.” And that was the God’s honest truth. All those kids in fost
er houses dreamed about some folks who would come and change their life, but someone should’ve seriously told them not to bother.

  “They are nice people—” Anne started, but my hollow laugh stopped her.

  “Right. As nice as William and Audrey? By the way, how are they? Was it a boy or girl?” She clenched her jaw and looked aside; she couldn't bear to meet my eyes. Anne was my social worker from the very beginning. None of the places where I was placed ended well for me. She couldn't even blame it on me, because I was a perfect fucking child.

  Yeah! Freaking me.

  I told her I was fine where I was. The people were okay. They had like seven kids around, but no one bothered me much, and we could all do whatever the hell we wanted as long as the house was clean. In my opinion, the deal was good, and Anne wanted to screw it all up for me again.

  Seriously, woman, let go.

  “Jane, I know you haven’t had much luck within any of those places I put you,” she sighed. “I tried to do my best. Believe me.”

  “Well, you didn't do good enough, did you?”

  She narrowed her eyes, clearly fed up with my shit. “These people are great. They are rich, have their own kid, and they want to adopt you, not just be your guardians. You know the difference, don’t you?” She was talking to me as though I was dumb and hadn’t spent my whole life in this fucked up system.

  “Sure do. Guardians get the money from the state for watching me.” It was one of the reasons Audrey and William never signed papers to finalize the adoption. The money helped to pay the bills and, hey, good for them. “Adoption means, legally, I become their kid, so they can never get rid of me.”

  She nodded and smiled with satisfaction. “See? So you can understand that you would be set and nothing bad could happen.”

  Was this woman nuts?

  “I think they are freaks who freaking want to adopt a teenager, and it’s not normal.”

  She removed her glasses, and pinched her nose. “I tried to prepare you for this, but don't forget I don't need your permission. You’re going to be part of the Armstrong family, whether you want it or not.” Anne finished coldly. It was impossible to reason with her.