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  Acceptance of the hideous past that will always follow me wherever I go, no matter the angel staying by my side.

  “I love every part of you.” She bestows a gentle kiss on the scar, her fingers trailing around a different one, and she skirts her lips lower, giving it a peck as well. “Your body is a flawed sculpture of pain and beauty, leaving everyone who is lucky enough to see it in awe.” I groan when she bites on my collarbone, her teeth tugging on my skin. “But you’re mine.”

  My dick grows harder at the possessiveness in her voice. My woman is highly territorial—not that she has to worry about other women ever.

  No one exists for me but her, and I don’t remember anything or anyone in my life before her.

  “Only yours.”

  Her fingers move to the horrible, round scar right on my hip that is red and angry-looking, the torn flesh destroyed so much by the hot blade that it never healed right. Instead, the damn bone behind it even aches during the rain, bringing up the voices in my head that ordered me to eat the bowl full of their spit, and when I refused, they punished me accordingly.

  Their laughter echoes in my ears, swirling anger inside me, and I barely restrain myself from ripping her hand away and silencing the sound disturbing old wounds and pushing my darkness to the surface.

  A monster might be accepted by the woman who loves him, but it doesn’t mean she can’t be afraid of him.

  Estella does not belong in my darkness; I should always keep it at bay around her, so it never smears her in ways she won’t be able to clean herself from.

  My past is my burden to carry.

  “Ryder.” Estella’s voice pierces through the buzzing in my ears, and she digs her fingers into my hips, right on the scar, and oddly, despite the sting, it vanishes the painful fog and brings me back to her. “I’ll never be afraid of you. You won’t hurt me. I accept you.” She kisses the mark, opening her lips wide over it, licking the puckered flesh. “I love you. The monster and the man. You don’t have to hide from me.”

  For a man with whom destiny has never been generous when it came to affection, I sure as fuck get easily addicted to her softness and confessions, soaking them up as if basking under my salvation’s sunlight.

  I can almost believe she could cure me with her love, although that would have been an illusion.

  Damaged men don’t change, but they do learn.

  And hold on tight to what they value most.

  Estella is forever chained to me with no way of escape, and should she ever change her mind about me… I’d still never let her go.

  My obsession is a curse and a blessing that will drive her insane on most days, but she will always feel cherished.

  And I’m starting to see that’s all that matters in a relationship.

  For even darkness doesn’t have such a strong claim on my soul as this beautiful woman does.

  “Estella, I…” I wish to give my own words to her so she will know just how much she means to me but fail to find suitable ones. Maybe because everything I come up with pales in comparison to the inferno that she is the cause of, burning my soul. “I….” She deserves them though.

  “Shhh.” She rubs her lips over several more scars, bathing them in attention and love, wiping away all the memories as the sexually charged tension around us rises, her breath becoming raspier.

  “Estella,” I warn her, threading my fingers in her hair, tugging on her head and angling it up so our eyes meet, and she must read the anguish on my face mixed with desire so strong I think I can fuck her for several days straight without stopping.

  However, hers are pleading. She bites on her lower lip and looks at me with expectations written all over her features, begging me to let her do it on her own time and show me with actions how she loves me.

  And what sane man, let alone one soaked in sin, would refuse such an offer from the woman he worships?

  She drifts her mouth to my stomach, scraping her teeth over my six-pack and then licking the path toward my navel as her scent surrounds me, seducing me with every breath she takes. I crave to keep her locked by my side so no one can snatch her away.

  I’ll kill anyone who tries anyway.

  Her fingers push away the opening of my jeans, skimming over my navel as her hot breath blows on my most sensitive part, my dick becoming rock-hard.

  My guttural groan rocks between us when she wraps her hand around my dick, her hot palm gliding up and down my length before squeezing it, earning herself a hiss from me. She rubs her thumb over the precum, smearing the head in it as her breathing speeds up and a groan escapes her.

  Tightening my hold on her, I momentarily zero her focus on me as I brush my finger over her plump lips. “Greedy, greedy girl. I’ve taught you how to use this mouth, and you’re already eager to taste me again.” She whimpers, shifting a little on the bed as her nipples pucker from the nightgown while her cheeks heat up, her shyness oddly adorable in this moment. “Show me what you’ve learned, darling.”

  A sexy smile graces her lips before she opens them wide and leans forward, rolling her tongue out and swiping it over my length from tip to base, before inhaling my scent into her lungs, making herself familiar with my dick. Desire flares in my veins, traveling all over my body and making me curl my toes into the carpet.

  She traces her tongue back to the tip and sucks on it, swallowing the precum, humming around it, and the vibration sends electric shocks through me, causing me to grip her hair tighter, tipping her head back while pressing on her chin.

  “Do you like the taste?”

  She nods, her hand tightening around the base as she takes me deeper, her wet and hot mouth enveloping me and creating powerful sensations, adding to the pleasure slowly spreading in me.

  “Open wilder.”

  She listens to my command and breathes through her nose when I push farther, her tongue sliding over me while she continues to rub her palm up and down, driving me insane with each glide as her whimpers intensify, the need rocking me. I almost push her on the bed, ready to fuck her mouth, as we both know she enjoys it.

  My innocent girl has no gag reflex, we both discovered, to our mutual pleasure.

  The lust sinks into every cell in my body, consuming me bit by bit as her heat and warmth continue to drive me insane, her mouth taking me deeper and deeper. She places her hands on my hips, her nails bruising my skin, but I welcome the pain mixing with the pleasure, ready to erupt and fill her mouth with me.

  “Estella,” I address her, and she raises her desire-filled eyes to me, still working over my length, and I feel the familiar tingling in my spine, my dick growing in her mouth. “Someday soon, we’ll fuck this mouth hard and slow.”

  She groans, her hand going to her panties, covering her pussy as she palms it, whimpering because it has no power to bring her any relief.

  Only I can do so, and the knowledge alone has the power to make me come right in her mouth.

  Willing all my self-control into my fist, I drag her head back, my dick slowly leaving her mouth, and she kisses the tip one last time, sighing in frustration as accusation crosses her face when she glares at me.

  “Tonight though, I’m going to fuck this pussy so hard you’ll never think about leaving or running away from me again.”

  Dragging her up, I slam my mouth on her and connect us in a heated kiss, swallowing her moan as she shares my taste with me, our tongues gliding against each other while we ravish each other, lost in a passionate embrace.

  Finally, I bite hard on her lower lip, making her groan before pulling back on a heavy breath, and the glazed look in her eyes lets me know that arousal consumes her, begging for me to do something about the need pouring from her.

  She creates a mesmerizing picture, her skin flushed as the nightgown sticks to her body, showing me every delectable curve designed to tempt men toward such beauty.

  Mine.

  “Ryder,” she whispers, cupping her more-than-a-handful breasts and squeezing them together as her moan ec
hoes in the room. “Make love to me.”

  The heart that I thought died a long time ago beats wildly in my chest, reacting to her request as the beast roaring inside me wishes to drown her in pleasure so she will never stop loving me.

  No matter my deeds and dark cravings.

  “Take off your nightgown,” I order, and she instantly grabs the hem, throwing it over her head, leaning back on her calves as her bare breasts and taut stomach come into view, the black panties barely covering her pussy.

  My dick springs to life, and I remove my jeans, kicking them away. The mattress dips under my knee when I climb on the bed and growl, “Lie down on your back, darling. Your man is about to eat.”

  Her giggle rocks off the walls followed by a loud moan when I grab her hips and push her backward.

  Her fiery hair surrounds her almost as a halo, showing in contrast her angelic qualities to my monstrous ones, yet on this bed, we are united as one.

  She lands on her back with a loud thud, opening her thighs wide for me as I settle between them and rip her panties away, despising anything keeping me from her. “You are mine, Estella,” I tell her, my hands gripping her ass cheeks, making her groan as her hands lace in my hair, dragging me closer to her dripping pussy that’s all puffy and pink from need.

  “Yes, only yours.” She arches her back, her heels digging in my back as my breath fans her pussy, my mouth watering in anticipation. “Ryder, please,” she begs, her scent twitching my nostrils and only adding to the need pumping through my blood.

  Instead of following her request, I rub my stumble over the inside of her thighs, earning myself a frustrated whimper followed by a groan when I nip on the skin before sucking on it hard, leaving red imprints behind.

  Turning my head, I repeat the action with the other one, her body whirling underneath mine, lust and dissatisfaction visible in every gulp and gasp she takes.

  “Ryder, please!” she cries, angling my head once again and opening her thighs wider, giving me a better look where she craves me the most.

  “Please what, darling?”

  “Love me with your mouth.”

  My God, this woman will be my undoing someday with how much my soul comes alive around her.

  Raising her ass up, I place my mouth on her pussy, stabbing my tongue deep into her and swirling through her folds, growling at the sweet taste that hardens my dick even more if it’s possible and makes me mad with lust and passion. I want to drive her insane so she won’t be able to think about anyone but me.

  She cries out just in time for lightning to flash in the night and grabs the nearby pillow, biting on it, trying to muffle the sound while her hips rock forward, grinding on my tongue, her hand pulling at my hair so tight I think she might bruise my scalp.

  Thrusting my tongue several times, basking in her scent and taste as she moans quietly, I slowly drag it out and swipe it to the top, giving her flesh long licks from side to side before drawing it in my mouth and sucking on it.

  “Ryder.” Desperation fills her tone, and she throws away the pillow, both of her hands threading in my hair again as she places her foot on my back. “Please.” Wrapping my mouth around her clit, I press it with my tongue, and she jerks in my hold, but she stays in place due to my strong grip. “Ryder.”

  My name on her lips serves as pleasure itself, for she utters it in the most needy and sweetest way.

  Skating my tongue from top to bottom, I slip it inside once again, stretching her pussy around the texture of my tongue as she slowly goes insane, and by how tight her flesh clenches around me, I know she’s close.

  A lifetime might not be enough to go down on my woman, enjoying watching her lose control and come in powerful waves as wonder hits her eyes every single time.

  Tonight though, the beast inside me rears its head, demanding to claim her all over again to remind ourselves she belongs to us and will never run again.

  Giving her pussy a gently kiss, I move up, peppering small kisses on her stomach that dips under my mouth and then biting the underside of her breast, grinning at how her nipples pucker and more goose bumps appear on them, the rose peaks standing out and begging to be licked.

  Trapping one nipple between my teeth, I scrape them over the sensitive peak before sucking it, and her legs wrap around my waist, her hips driving forward, seeking my hard-on but I pull back a little. “Ryder, please.”

  Ignoring her, I move to the other breast, repeating my actions as I place my hands on either side of her and rub the tip of my dick over her entrance, up and down, as the air hitches in her throat.

  Raising my mouth from her breasts, I find her vivid green eyes and ask again, “What do you want, darling?” Her hands skirts to my nape, her nails cutting deep and for sure leaving marks on me as she swallows hard, pulling me closer to her.

  “I want you to make love to me, Ryder. Stake your claim on what’s yours.”

  With this single request, she forever attaches herself to me, for a monster who knows heaven will never willingly go back to hell again.

  My mouth falls on hers, trapping her scream when I drive deep into her, her pussy stretching around my length, and instant heat surrounds me as we both sigh in relief before our tongues glide against each other, passionately fighting for dominance. I pull back and slam into her hard again, shifting us on the bed, the headboard bumping into the wall—not that I give a shit.

  A blazing fire consumes us both, almost creating an illusion of being alone in this world, with our pleasure and need burning us from inside out. And no matter how close we want to get to each other, it’s not enough, as bliss hovers in the distance, whispering in our ears to chase it down fast yet agonizingly slow to prolong the inevitable.

  She tips her head up, giving me better access to her mouth as my strokes become deeper, harder, making her feel my entire length in her as she moans into my mouth, her legs tightening around me and her hands gripping my hair with my urgency.

  Tearing her mouth away, she throws her head back, exposing her neck to me that I instantly suck on as her breathing speeds up, and she begs, “Harder, Ryder.”

  Her hands fall by her sides. She fists the sheets, and I grab the headboard, thrusting in deeper and harder strokes, thunder booming in the distance—fitting weather for our union.

  “Ryder,” she says, her pussy spasming around me several times, squeezing me tight until a loud scream erupts from her mouth. She breathes heavily, catching her breath, watching me intently as I feel my own release sneaking up on me closer and closer.

  With each slam of my hips, the pleasure washes over me in waves one after another as my entire body grows taut, and Estella whimpers, lying still. However, the picture she presents is enough to send me over the edge.

  Completely satisfied woman by her man.

  One. Two. Three more thrusts.

  With a guttural groan, I spill inside her as euphoria rushes over me in zipping prickles while my woman welcomes me in her arms, hugging me close to her while the wind billows around us, yet our heated bodies don’t even feel the cold.

  “I love you, Ryder.”

  I stay silent but press her even harder to me, soaking up her warmth and love as thunder echoes in the night.

  Tonight, a miracle happened.

  An angel gave atonement to a monster and accepted him as he is.

  And as such, the monster got the salvation he could never dream of.

  No one will keep me away from her.

  Not even Octavius Reed himself.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Sometimes you have to make a choice.

  Even if it means choosing between love and love.”

  Estella

  * * *

  Estella

  Taking a deep breath, I run my fingers over my silver woolen dress with a turtleneck that covers the hickeys Ryder left behind in the night. I’m mentally preparing to go downstairs and tell my brother I’m going back to my apartment and that he should forget about the whole dramatic thing from y
esterday.

  “Octavius, I love Ryder and want to be with him. He didn’t use me for revenge, and he explained it all when he slipped into my room last night, after which we had wild, passionate sex several times in my bed.” I groan after speaking the words out loud.

  Yeah, this will go over really well with him.

  I should have stayed and listened, but I’m so inexperienced when it comes to relationships I don’t know how to act right.

  I touch my red lips, remembering how Ryder bit on them and whispered all the beautiful things in the world, promising to be with me and want only me. I must be brave for myself too.

  And bravery requires growing and owning up to your decisions, even if means upsetting the people you love.

  Octavius is my brother.

  But he can’t stay the only person who I love and is my priority.

  Sliding a brush through my hair one last time, I grab my phone and rush downstairs, straight to the common room from where I hear the voices of the Dark Four as they argue where to put Octavius’s latest addition to his collection.

  “It should be on the right,” Florian says, wiggling his hands in the air. “To fit the color scheme of the other knives.” He points at glassed shelves attached to the wall.

  “No, on the left to reflect the sunlight better, which gives the diamond handle a better glow,” Remi argues as they stand opposite each other, waiting for the other to give up, while Santiago just rolls his eyes, flipping the newspaper in his hand as he sits on a chair with his legs kicked up on a nearby table.

  These two argue about everything, I secretly think this is the way they handle the deep resentment they feel for each other, ever since Florian slept with Remi’s girlfriend back in high school. Santiago’s reaction is valid, and my brother just flips the knife back and forth between his fingers.

  Clearing my throat, I say, “Hi.”

  They all freeze and look at me.

  Octavius drills his gaze over my form before saying, “That’s a very formal dress to wear at home.” He glances at the terrace door when thunder shakes the sky, the cloud darkening everything around us. “Knowing your love for rain, I think you’ll be more comfortable in leggings. You’ll go outside to enjoy it, and your favorite dress will get ruined.”